A few days ago, I talked about bad emotions and diseases in an online class. Many friends who attended the class felt that they really did not expect the connection between the two to be so close. In fact, this topic is too much, we can talk more slowly.
What we are talking about today is: Among people who are in a bad mood, people with a self-centered personality have more chances of being physically hurt.
What is a self-centered personality? This is a long story.
When a baby, human beings will have a stage where they see the world with their own eyes, start everything from their own feelings, and use their own feelings to evaluate everything around them. This is a typical manifestation of self-centeredness.
An important reason for this self-centered formation is determined by the child's physical characteristics at this time. At this time, the child needs to be taken care of, and adults will revolve around the child to meet the child's physical needs; another reason is that the child The living environment at this time is relatively closed. They are just family members and have not yet entered into social interaction.
Then, with development and parental education, the child's life circle begins to expand, and the concept of sociality begins to emerge in the mind. During communication, the child begins to correctly recognize himself. This is the second stage of psychological growth. This correct The stage of self-awareness is the foundation for children to enter society in the future.
After going through the second stage, what happens at the same time is a correct understanding of the world. At this time, the child begins to grow up and realizes that the world is made up of more people. Everyone needs coordination and mutual assistance. Therefore, he can survive in mutual assistance with everyone. After knowing the world, talents will eventually grow into members of a society with a sound personality.
But now, the problem of many people is that they have been stuck in the first stage and have not grown.
Why is this?
There are many reasons, but I think that in the current one-child family, parents' doting on their children will lead to the formation of a long-term, self-centered value system in the children. They will think that everything around them exists for me and is for me. Serving me, so, I am the most important, everything should satisfy my thoughts and desires.
In some families, the youngest child also has this personality trait, because he will receive special favor from the parents.
In addition, I have seen some cases in other situations, such as remarried families, stepfathers or stepmothers are worried that others will say bad things to the ex-children, so they will double their love.
So, what are the consequences of such a self-centered character?
There are many answers, for example, there will be special conceit and low self-esteem.
People with this personality, on the one hand, will be very conceited and have a high self-esteem, thinking that they are superior to ordinary people in all aspects.
On the other hand, it will be very inferior. Because although parents were very kind to their children when they were young, and cared for them in every possible way, this aspect seems to be a "good thing", but it also conveys a message that you can't do it, you are too weak, and you have to rely on the help of others to live, no more What can you do with our help? This is the subconscious line. However, as the child suffers more and more setbacks from the outside world, this inferiority complex will become more and more obvious.
There is another important consequence of this character, which is frustration.
Such people will have more desires and more attachments, and will feel that what I want must be mine, and everyone must do what I want.
However, after entering the society, how can this world be like this?
As a result, there will be a lot of frustration, and I will feel that the whole world has collapsed, and everyone ignores my feelings, and I am abandoned by this world.
This is very scary, and the reason is that you have not learned to correctly evaluate your own value, and have not learned to correctly evaluate the world.
To be honest, I am very worried about families who dote on their children, and when the children grow up, these children will face such problems.
People with this kind of personality will have such a pattern in contact with others, that is, they will basically start from their own point of view, without thinking about the ins and outs of the problem, the cause of the problem, or what they have done. Inappropriate, but only to see what I have gained, what I have lost, and how others have hurt me.
To give an inappropriate example: such a person is like two children fighting with each other. I hit you provocatively, and you responded by hitting me back and forth several times. Then, I will not Mention the fact that I provoked you to hit you, but cry to your parents: "He hit me so many times!"
Such situations often occur in self-centered childhood. But, unfortunately, many people carry this way of doing things into adulthood.
This is a way of thinking that doesn't consider cause and effect. They don't look at the "cause", but only look at why the "effect" they get is not good. God is not fair.
In conflicts with colleagues in the office, such people will not think about what harm they have done to affect the other party, but only see how the other party hurt me, so they will feel particularly sad and wronged: this world, I'm sorry.
Another characteristic of thinking for people with such a personality is that they feel that the world should run according to my consciousness. This is a source of serious frustration for them.
I have seen some young girls who suffered from severe lung disease or even terminal illness after a love break. This is called wood fire punishment in Chinese medicine, which refers to the disorder of the emotional system, but the problem of the respiratory system. Investigating the root cause, one reason is that such a girl feels that what I want, I must get it. If I don’t get it, my world will collapse. How can I not get it?
The question is: why does that person have to be yours? Everyone in this world is free.
Even more seriously, it is difficult for a child with such a character to integrate into society when he grows up.
I have also seen young people who have various problems as soon as they come to work in the unit, such as dizziness, vomiting, weakness, and unable to perform their duties normally, but everything is normal when they go home for vacation. As a result, it ended up not being able to work. The family was very distressed by this and had seen countless doctors, but doctors really couldn't treat the disease of "not being able to go to work".
The reason is that the child has been living in the meticulous "care" of the family. The family has surrounded him since he was a child, and everything is centered on him. He has already adapted and feels that this world exists for me. As a result, when I arrived at the unit, no one paid attention to him, and someone still criticized me? He felt that the whole world had collapsed, it was so cruel! As a result, the liver qi is uncomfortable, causing various problems in the body. I fell ill as soon as I arrived at the work unit, and my body recovered as soon as I returned home.
There are more and more examples like the one above. People with such personalities will have all kinds of entanglements, all kinds of anger, and all kinds of depression, which will lead to uncomfortable liver qi, and then more diseases will appear in the body.
I often see people doting on children around me, and my persuasion is ineffective, and I would think to myself: This child will have to endure too many hardships in the future!
Therefore, I would like to remind the parents of children that if your child is still young, you should have enough understanding of this issue before you have time. Cultivate children to have a correct understanding of themselves and the world. This is the best protection for children. You can't stay with your child all your life. Sooner or later, your child will grow up and enter the society. You must prepare your child well. Don't ruin your child's step into the future because of your temporary "kindness".
And if such a child has grown up and entered the society, what should he do?
In my opinion, this is a character trait that is very difficult to change. Unless after suffering a big setback and learning from the pain, I may change a little, but there are also many people who will be injured and get sick because of it.
At this time, I recommend everyone to study. If you can study the classics of Chinese studies, such as "Tao Te Ching" and other classics, it will be of great help.
In addition, I think the religious system will also be of great help. At this time, for example, if you have fate, come into contact with Buddhism, learn how to stop greed, hatred and ignorance, learn to let go of compassion, think about it for life, and stop being attached. Understand that if you let go of one thought, you will have a wider world, you will be happier, and your life will be greatly changed.
Ordinary learning will follow the end of the course and will not work hard. The religious system will allow people to enter a continuous process of practice, which will be of great help to people in our world.
In fact, people with such a personality are very pitiful in themselves, because they are all innocent lives, and it is because of the deviation in the education of their parents that their personality has changed so much, and they have suffered so much spiritual pain in the end. This is very sad. sad.
My own personality has some self-centered characteristics. Therefore, recently I am also learning Buddhist knowledge, trying to review and adjust myself. I hope that in this process, I will have more experience to share with you!
